So You Want to Self-Publish…*
I had listened to my thirty-third audio track, trying to find the best music for the trailer that I was making for the release of my book, The Pain You Seek. All of it began to sound the same—dark, atmospheric, moody. As I continued clicking from track to track, my mind pictured the release a month away, the novel gaining traction as it made its way out to readers and book clubs. My area paper reached out and wanted to interview me, the local author with a new book. I didn’t hear the latest audio track I was reviewing switch over to a new one: I was too busy giving the interview.
Q: Why did you write The Pain You Seek?
A: The myth about Medea always fascinated me from the very first time I learned about it to later when I taught Euripides’ classic Greek play to my students. A story about a mother who murders her children as revenge against her husband’s betrayal—I mean, the Greeks certainly knew how to ramp up the tragedy. Those were some of the best discussions about power and revenge and loyalty and love. Sometimes, we even questioned if what Medea did was evil.
Q: So, you went from being an English teacher analyzing literature with some pretty heavy topics for over thirty years to being a writer. How did that feel?
A: It’s a big shift for sure. I built a career helping students critically read all kinds of literature in a way that gave them some appreciation for the art and make it relevant to themselves. Now, I am on the other side of the equation thinking about how I am presenting ideas in a way that hopefully resonates with all the different readers that might encounter the book. I found myself revisiting a lot of my classroom lessons in my head.
Q: How long did it take you to write The Pain You Seek?
A: I started the day after I retired in the spring of 2025 and finished six months later.
Q: It is not scheduled to be released until October 1st of this year, which is over a year after you started. What happened in the meantime?
A: What didn’t happen! Getting the first draft done was easy. Then I went through multiple edits, getting beta-reader feedback, more edits, and querying agents.
Q: What was the most difficult part about querying agents?
A: Finding the right agent. The Pain You Seek doesn’t fit neatly into genre categories. It crosses from literary upmarket fiction to psychological to journalistic investigation to mythology re-telling. It isn’t quite a thriller, but the themes and overall story arc are dark. The pool of serious agents for this type of story was small. In the end, no one wanted to take it on, so I went forward with self-publishing.
Q: What additional responsibilities did you have to assume once you decided to self-publish?
A: I looked into hiring a cover designer, but said to myself, “Make your own cover and save some money,” but then promptly bought a subscription to Adobe InDesign for the layout. I could have hired a copy editor, but I decided to rely on my years of teaching writing, and my own experience in graduate school, instead. I did decide to hire a proofreader, though.
Q: You hired a proofreader? But you just said you spent over thirty years grading essays. If saving money was your goal, why did you do that?
A: [Laughs] I’m a horrible proofreader of my own work. Just ask my former students about their handouts and assignment sheets. No, the proofreader was necessary and money absolutely well spent.
Q: What other roles outside of designing the cover and editing did you now have to throw yourself into?
A: I had to make a lot of distribution decisions. Do I publish only as digital on Amazon? Offer a paperback through Amazon? Or open the distribution to other retailers like Barnes and Noble and local bookstores? Libraries were also another possibility.
Q: That sounds like an easy one. Wouldn’t you just want to get the widest reach?
A: You would think so, but I learned a lot about the mechanics behind it. Staying exclusively with Amazon’s Kindle Digital Publishing platform is a one-stop shop, but I didn’t want to limit my opportunities to put the book in front of people, so I opted to go beyond Amazon. That meant more work setting up other distribution channels.
Q: At some point, this had to cost you a decent amount of money, right?
A: Yep. Everything costs money. The ISBN numbers, marketing platforms, giveaway campaigns on Goodreads, website registration, email campaigns, publisher accounts. If you want advanced copies of the paperback to proof before it goes for sale, you have to pay for those too. Even the barcode costs money. Self-publishing is not cheap.
Q: Were you prepared for all that when you started?
A: Hardly, and with every step there was more to spend to make it work. But it got to a certain point that if I wanted to give this book the best shot at a serious release, I needed to invest some capital.
Q: Do you think you will ever get that money back in sales?
A: That’s the dream, isn’t it? The book becomes a runaway bestseller, and you are adored by millions of fans. [Laughs] But, seriously, probably not. Debut self-published authors have a lot stacked against them. The latest thing I am working on is a marketing plan where I don’t have to invest a bunch of cash. At some point, it will be another decision to make: Do I keep growing the exposure organically, or do I invest some money in ad placement?
Q: If you have a modest expectation, why put yourself through it all?
A: For me, it is more than just making some money. I wanted to tell a story—this story. If it makes me some money back, that’s fine. I just want to get The Pain You Seek in front of people, have them read and discuss it. I think many readers will see there is a lot to talk about under the surface. I really tried to apply all of those nuances I used to teach my students.
Q: First the writing, then the publishing, and now marketing for the upcoming release… it sounds like the work never ends.
A: Yeah, it takes a lot of energy and time. For example, I took time out of making a trailer video for the book to do this interview.
A dissonant tone drew me back to my writing desk. The music had advanced into a new genre, something called “Strange SF Mystery.” It clearly did not suit the dark and brooding excerpt from Medea’s first monologue that I had selected for the video. The current track made me think of flying saucers, not Medea’s haunting eyes and accusations against the very people who created her immortality. I went back to searching for something better. Something with menace.
***
The Pain You Seek will be released October 1st as an eBook and paperback. Pre-orders for the eBook are being accepted at Amazon.
